I am a bit confused on how I should write this next segment, I am angry and tired from a lack of sleep, and have just no energy to cheer myself up. Yeah, yeah I know I have written a lot about death and negativity, but it seems to be surrounding me this year more then most. I am seeking some advice on what I should do to make this not such a depressing year, but all I have to go by is to write it down, get it out, let it go....so here it is.
I woke up from a 2 hour nights sleep with a throbbing thumb. Why throbbing? Well, little miss lupe decided to try and feed a seizing dog. Yes I know, keep your hands away from any one or thing having a seizure. Well I did for awhile, but the dog was helplessly hungry and not being able to find the food dish, needed some guidance. Mistakenly he took my fingers for the bowl, bit down and did not let go, until I pried his teeth from my thumb. Ouch yes, but more importantly the dog wanted food, and I couldn't give him that satisfaction. It was a struggle to watch this dog thrash in his cage, for 3 days while the owner decided what to do.. For me, it would be an easy decision, but it was not my choice to make. I had no control.
I was awoken the following morning to five dead animals lying in my pen. One being the most kind and loyal of beings....yes I am talking about chickens and roosters, and a very protective duck named Splish. I lost J-Ro a rooster I had raised since an egg, Gerdie, a cuckoo maran I had purchased in the fall from "the chicken man" in Jericho, who laid chocolate brown eggs, Summer, a buff orp, I received for my oldest daughter Sydney, Henny Penny, a Wellsummer with gorgeous red highlights and the most endearing personality and Splish, the partner of Splash, a runner duck mix who was the balls. All laying with various parts of their heads removed, or their whole head removed and nothing else touched, and I thought "fuck", I have a weasel problem. My heart sank, and after all out crying for a good 30 minutes, I tried to compose myself and figure out what I had to do to protect the rest of the flock.
Weasels are the demon of all chicken or fowl flocks, they come in and kill one, two or this case five, and leave the rest of the flock in shock as they had just witnessed their co-habitants executed. You cannot get rid of weasels, they need to be shot or trapped. I don't have a gun. So I have to sit and hope that a live-trap will eventually trap my predator. The only other thing is to watch all my chickens whom I have raised with the help of my children and husband disappear, fearful and alone. It is not fun. For now I am keeping the remainder of hens and J-Ro's son in the coop, which is too small and confining for eleven birds. The ducks are lucky, they have a hoop house at a friends to live in. Chickens will destroy hoop houses, if not properly fenced off and therefore is not an option for my hens. It is February, I have 2-3 months to live with chickens cooped in a pen too small.
I am tired, and the snow keeps falling, I will try another day. I am not going to give up. The live-trap will come tomorrow, the hens will be cramped but safe, and I may or may not get some kind of sleep...but it is a choice, a choice that I made and if I don't stand by my choices and take the consequences that go along with them, then I might as well be thrashing around in that cage, similar to the seizing dog, not knowing if I am living or dying...a choice many living things don't get to have.
It will be hard to see the tears in my daughters eyes as I explain to her, the reason her favorite rooster is not here anymore. And I am sure we will sit together and cry, hug and hold each other. She and her sister will determine whether they too would like to have chickens when they are older. It is a choice only they can provide, but it will certainly not be an easy one.
I have thought through the past years experiences with fox, dogs, and now weasels, if I was cut out for this small scale farming. I believe I can.
We can survive situations that test our boundaries....there are far more evil things in this world then weasels. Many of them are going on in countries I have never visited, let alone heard of, but we humans have an instinct as do all animals, that is to fight for what we believe in...survival: it runs deep even if your brain is the size of a pea...
I want to thank all my friends and family for being there for me, it really helps getting through the rough patches.
R.I. P J-Ro, Gerdie, Summer, Splish and Henny Penny!
